Last Night in Sydney for 09

Well, my lovelies... what a year it has been. This is my last night in Sydney, I fly out tomorrow for the Philippines and will return early January. I have to say this has blossomed into such a beautiful year. I can look back in gladness to the growth that I've experienced as a teacher at my workplace and in myself spiritually and generally. I left work on Friday with such warmth and love from my boss, the parents, and my wonderful children. I miss them already because I know it'll be three weeks till I see them again and some of them are going to school and won't be coming back! Luckily I still have time with my shadow before I have to leave next year for full time study. I'm carrying the look she gave me as I left Friday evening in my heart... the "quick, one last hug because you're going and ahhh, don't leave without a hug" look. She makes my heart ache, I love her a lot. And one of my boys on Thursday said to me a hastily phrased, "thank you for being with me all those days!" when giving me a hug before I went home. So precious! He's taken to randomly saying, "I love you Cathrine", which is just gorgeous. I love how unconscious children are in the giving and taking of love.

And Tom. :) I'm continually surprised by him. There is just so much love here, it's wonderful. He has encouraged and strengthened me to grow in ways I never would have without him. I am lifted up. I'm really satisfied with where life is heading. I have been longing for a firm foundation in God to stand on for years and I feel it forming for the first time. It's beyond exciting. I love the support I get from my new church, the community and the love I get from Tom. Having the independance to explore my relationship with God with what I already know and without the burdens of not being good 'enough' or doing 'enough' has been really helpful.

I am so proud of myself for sticking this year out. It was so hard at work at times but the satisfaction I now feel for making it and even doing a good job at times makes it worthwhile. And the growth I see in the children and the relationships I've been able to form with parents for the support of their children. My job is so rewarding... for all it takes out, it gives back so beautifully and in ways I could never receive any other way. You can't buy the love of these children, the laughter and good times. :) I think they know I heart them.


I'm worried about this trip though. So worried I can't think clearly. Apparently worry and stress will do that to you. Reflecting on all that I have done and can do is helpful though. Maybe that's why the psalms are full of that... when times are hard, remind yourself of God's amazing power by reflecting on all that he has done for his people. I'm not going to trust in my own strength to get through this, because that's only good for so much... and I'm going to need a lot more to deal with some of the family dramas that I forsee happening. I'm going to need some more help so as I pack, I'm going to pack while listening to hymns and trusting/ reflecting on God's ability to take care of me and my family. How many times did God's people forget and try to do things on their own strength? It's a hard lesson to learn...

Tom and I went to a Nine Lessons and Carols service at church tonight, quite an Anglican service format but it wasn't so traditional. One hymn that I loved, I want to share now. I couldn't find an amazing, polished copy of it on YouTube but this might do... it's simple and kinda neat for that.


W.Y. Fullerton (1857-1932) I Cannot Tell




Love,
Cathrine

Jolene

Il etais un fois...

There was once a time when people looked at me at work and asked "how do you get so much done?" Now I feel like I'm dragging my heels. I'm so ready for a holiday. I've taken to writing myself to do lists, so I can use that sense of satisfaction of crossing it off the list as a motivator to get things done. And so far it's helping. :P

I think I'm going to start counting the days till I leave. I work four days a week and there is only 7 more working days till I'm finished for the year. I think I can manage that. :P

This year has been so full on. To illustrate perhaps why this has been such a full on year... I am the only teacher from my room to have been there at the start of the year. It's a normal thing in child care, with the notoriously high staff turn over rate but gah! I wish it were otherwise. Things would settle down and then another thing would distrupt the room. I'm glad I stuck it out. We've had some crazy times but by and large, I've enjoyed working at my centre.


An example of an awesome moment:
This morning our stick insect shed it's skin and one of the children saw this and told me a stick insect was eating another stick insect! I freaked out but when I saw what she meant, I was excited rather than scared. It looked as if it was eating another insect because it was eating it's old skin. I didn't know they did that... that is, ate their old skin. :)

Ah dear...

This is a song I think I should buy, I think it's grand.


Ray LaMontagne - Jolene




Love,
Cathrine

Home

I had such a wonderful weekend.

Saturday was spent visiting an art gallery with Tom and his dad in Marrickville. We stopped in on a local market on the way back and Tom got me an early Christmas present - a beautiful red top with a boab tree on it. <3 Then came back for lunch, read more Harry Potter and a rode home to my place in the afternoon.

This morning I rode to Tom's place and went to morning church, which was a very nice service with loads of kids. Then we had lunch and I read more of my Harry Potter book with Tomtom and we listened to a podcast sermon by John Piper. I'm very excited about these sermons on demand... :D And then had dinner later with Tom's family - an early Christmas dinner because his brother is going overseas in a week or so. :) Tom and I got to decorate the gingerbread biscuits with icing beforehand... His mum cooked up an amazing dinner, I'm stuffed full. :D


And this song. :D I heart it. It has such wonderful energy.
I love you Tom. <3



Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Home



Her:
Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa,
Not that way that I do love you.

Him:
Holy, moley, me, oh my,
You're the apple of my eye,
Girl I've never loved one like you.

Her:
Man oh man you're my best friend,
I scream it to the nothingness,
There ain't nothing that I need.

Him:
Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie,
Chocolate candy, Jesus Christ,
Ain't nothing please me more than you.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Mother, I'm coming home.

Him:
I'll follow you into the park,
Through the jungle through the dark,
Girl I never loved one like you.

Her:
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls,
I've been everywhere with you.

Him:
That's true.
Laugh until we think we'll die,
Left with(?) on a summer night,
Never could be sweeter than with you.

Her:
And in the streets you run afree,
Like it's only you and me,
Geeze, you're something to see.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Daddy, I'm coming home.


(talking)
Him: Jade
Her: Alexander
Him: Do you remember that day you fell outta my window?
Her: I sure do, you came jumping out after me.
Him: Well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke your ass, you were bleeding all over the place and I rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that?
Her: Yes I do.
Him: Well there's something I never told you about that night.
Her: What didn't you tell me?
Him: While you were sitting in the backseat smoking a cigarette you thought was gonna be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you til just now.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you.

Him:
Home. Let me come home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

Her:
Ahh home. Yes I am ho-oh-ome.
Home is when I'm alone with you.

Her:
Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa...
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls...

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you...




Love,
Cathrine

December

It's December already. In a little over 2 weeks I'll be heading to the Philippines and work will be finished (for me) for the year. I did a little looking back over my blog just then and I think I have to say this has been a full on year, but things are settling into happier waters. Some of the changes?

a. new church
b. new home
c. dating tom
d. no longer working with br ned
e. no longer involved with fifi
f. mum bought me a car
g. paid driving lessons

It's been really hard at times to keep it all together. I wonder what next year will be like... could it be that things will calm down? I would love for things to settle into a routine of church, bible study, work and Tom and seeing friends in my spare time.

Music continues to be most old stuff rehashed. New stuff is harder to come by these days. I have a driving lesson this afternoon and so I better dash..


Meow,
Cathrine

Take My Life

I'm humbled by the genuineness of love shown by people in this world. I went to a wedding this morning and was deeply impressed by the way the couple demonstrated their love for each other. I'm confronted by their maturity as well... who am I to talk of marriage? I'm still a child. I see the kindness and love shown by the bride's friends and I wonder who will speak for me on my wedding day. I am a little forgetful of my friends, though I have awesome friends, I don't make enough time for them. I forget what I'm missing out on too in neglecting them. Life is enriched with friends and family.

I have been really enjoying reading the bible on my way to work. I'm reading through 2 Chronicles at the moment and it's really instructive looking at the lives of so many past kings of Israel/Judea in such a condensed way. The distinction is so clear, follow God and you will prosper and live, serve other Gods and it's over. You wonder how can they possibly keep making the same mistakes? I wonder until I look at my own life. It's so easy to forget God's proper place and like friends, neglect him. In the end, I have to stand before God and account for all that I've done.

I like Saturdays. I like taking time out and being still before God. It seems as soon as I am still, I am comforted by God and know his presence. And strength returns to me to help me continue in the face of some real challenges that I'm facing... and joy fills my heart as I recognise God moving in my life. I have taken less to listening to music and more to allowing my mind to rest in the love and knowledge of God. I enjoy too listening to hymns and other Christian music, though most of what I own are hymns. :) I'm glad it's Sunday tomorrow... it's nice to look forward to church.

This is one hymn that I love.


Chris Tomlin - Take My Life






I don't know how this blog will look in the upcoming months. I'm not really inspired to write every day and share music in the same way. I feel as if I already have enough on my plate. *laughs* We'll see, I guess.

Love,
Cathrine

Grand Return - Down On Love

It would be nice to learn to dance. I went out Friday night with Tom to his friend's farewell and was danced around the place by his friend's dad. It was quite embarrassing but in a fun way. I wish I could fly around the floor and dance like he and his wife does. Looks like a lot of fun.

Driving lessons are going well. I'm excited. I'm excited in general about living so close to Tom but the idea of driving and being at his place in 2 minutes drives me crazy. I'm all kinds of happy to be able to pop by have a swim and cook dinner with him... and for me to come home from work and him be there to cook up a storm with him again. haha My man gets me trying new things. He has awesome taste in music and consequently has me dancing along to life to his music. Cooking, dancing, riding, singing, praying together... Gush! I have been away from the internet for a while and I have so much love stored up that I can't help but overflow with it all.

I'm excited about my birthday on Wednesday. We're going to the Vanguard for some French cabaret... Edith Piaf tribute style. So much love. Going with Tom, Eddy and Sara and dinnering with these above awesome people as well as Aisha and Tharani and maybe Jason. My people. <3

I am in a good place.

I have travel on my mind, the end of the year is fast approaching and then I'll be heading off to the Philippines. I recently just got back from Melbourne with Aisha and it was really nice to be somewhere else for a while and the only thing to think about was how shall I enjoy myself today? *grins* I learnt so much about being girly and taking care of myself... I have come back to Sydney with a healthier 'beauty regime' and a greater desire to wear dresses and skirts. I can not get over the Friday night we spent at a club (my first time) in which I got so much male attention. If ever I wanted to play the "I'm average, nothing special" card, I think I'll have this memory to remind me that I'm not average at all. I don't know what I'll do with that knowledge... will it give me more self confidence? Will it make me less self conscious? Maybe in time. I really enjoyed spending time with Aisha over 5 consecutive days. She's such an awesome girl. :)


Anyway... I'm currently enjoying Bob Dylan (All Along The Watch Tower, I Shall Be Released) and Simon and Garfunkel. I feel quite old school. It feels so good to be blogging again. I find it a funny thing. When I talk to certain people I find it really easy to focus on all the good things going on, and with others I find it impossible to not talk about all the bad. Blogging puts me in a headspace where I'm comfortable and so tonight I'm glad and reminded of all the awesome things I have. Eg, Church last night was awesome... :) and having a record player in my living room and playing Charlie Parker and Bud Powell... that's awesome as well. haha Currently I'm listening to Sarah Blasko's "Down On Love". It's magic.



Sarah Blasko - Down On Love






Love,
Cathrine


PS> Thanks Jason for the use of your modem. :)

Strawberry Swing

It's my last night here in Roseville. Tomorrow I move! I have been packing steadily all day and I still have some odds and ends to sort out. I won't have the internet for a while, until it's set up in my new place which could be a week from now or two weeks depending on how busy they are. So I will be away from my blog a little.

I'm going to make my moving house mix cd tonight, ready for my new place. :) But I'll leave you with this song - not because I like Coldplay or even this song as such, but because the video clip is incredible! :) But gah, I can't embed it... so click the link and watch for yourself. :)



Coldplay - Strawberry Swing



Later guys,

Cathrine

Sparrow

I've had this song in my head for the last few days. I'm not enitrely sure why it echoes within me... I looked up the lyrics just then and at the end, where it says the Earth will write the eulogy, I heard "the Lord". Anyway. It's typical S&G, poetry to music.



Simon and Garfunkel - Sparrow



Who will love a little Sparrow?
Who's traveled far and cries for rest?
"Not I," said the Oak Tree,
"I won't share my branches with
no sparrow's nest,
And my blanket of leaves won't warm
her cold breast."

Who will love a little Sparrow
And who will speak a kindly word?
"Not I," said the Swan,
"The entire idea is utterly absurd,
I'd be laughed at and scorned if the
other Swans heard."

Who will take pity in his heart,
And who will feed a starving sparrow?
"Not I," said the Golden Wheat,
"I would if I could but I cannot I know,
I need all my grain to prosper and grow."

Who will love a little Sparrow?
Will no one write her eulogy?
"I will," said the Earth,
"For all I've created returns unto me,
From dust were ye made and dust ye shall be."




So I have tomorrow off to rest. I'm coming down with the flu. I move house on Saturday and I really don't want to be too sick to do that. I'm excited to have this change finally come about after so much looking and waiting.

Later,

Cathrine

Little Lion Man

Kat asked if I'd heard this song... and thanks to Tom's younger brother, I have. haha It's cool. I like it.



Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man




:)

Cathrine

Blogotheque

French AND awesome music. I couldn't be more excited! :) Check out Bon Iver on blogotheque. :)

The whole thing is so intimate. Plus I love reading French aloud. It's such a beautiful language. :)

Looove,

Cathrine

Nantes

I am in love. Love, love, love Beirut! I love this video clip and song so much. The instruments.... I'm speechless, the man's drums are bins. Look at the graffiti art? Swooon! So love this guy's voice, it's precise and the right amount of crazy/quirky. haha So I'm glad eMusic has this album for download because of love. :)



Beirut - Nantes




Night,

Cathrine

Hawaiian Robots

It's worth it. I remember the goodness. I remember the peace. I am walking through fire right now, or so it feels. Why do I make this into such a big thing? It seems like no one else is mentioning it's significance, but I'm no longer working with Br Ned and no longer attending St John's. C'est tout fini. I know there is life beyond this, Christian life beyond Br Ned, but I feel subdued and worried. Should I? I know they all would say, yes and very much so. Ah dear. I got a painful email Thursday and reflecting on it makes me glad to be moving on, but it doesn't take away the pain that goes with losing something that was once precious.

Anyway, instead of going out with Aisha as planned today, I'm home. It's okay... I'm going to pack for my move next weekend and maybe use this beautiful weather for laundry. I 'found' the bonus disk on Something For Kate's Desert Lights. I like it. It has Born To Run on it as well as this song:


Something For Kate - Hawaiian Robots




Paul's music is often the food my aching heart needs. But "I'm better of as a robot"? lol Who knows. I like the quirkiness... and the veracity. Oh man, I get tired of being so emotional sometimes. I would be so much happier if this was an easier, more natural transition.

Laters y'all.

Cathrine

Untitled

Things I love:

1) The night air
2) The warmth of my ugg boots
3) Tom
4) The way music lifts my spirits
5) The reminders I get to rely on God


Life doesn't always go to plan. I'm going to have to learn to cope with that better, since there are other people in the world and life doesn't revolve around me. I saw such a beautiful rainbow while driving this evening. My driving instructor is awesome, he's willing to follow me to Epping when I move. How very very lucky. So counting my blessings:


1) I work within an awesome centre, with awesome children and staff
2) My kids are obsessed with insects and I have to take a lot of the pleasure/blame in that. One of the boys found a baby stick insect yesterday. Can you believe??
3) Tom
4) I have plans to go to Melbourne in November with my best friend
5) I'm going to the Philippines at the end of the year with mum
6) I'll be moving to Epping to be close to Tom and my new church
7) I'm feeling at home in my new church
8) I have an awesome driving instructor and I'll be getting my license soon?
9) I have a beautiful (almost) new car that mum bought me to drive once I do
10) I am a child of God despite my sinful nature


Post-chat with Aisha, I can add:


1) I'm moving to Epping in 9 days
2) I'm going to ask for house plants as house warming gifts. :)
3) I'm going parasailing with Aisha on Saturday!
4) I get to see Tom a lot this week (haha, you guys are a unit! - reminding me how awesome each of you are by complimenting the other)
5) Aisha


Lucky me. :)

Cathrine


PS: Does this list-style of writing make me a little like Cash, Tom? <3

Pinstripe

I forget. I forget. I'm tired. I don't want to cry or give up. I want to be better. I want to run towards being better, rather than hide from being not good enough. I feel like Something For Kate's music...



Something For Kate - Pinstripe



There is no need to throw your arms around
And there is no need to ask unless there is some doubt
If you are comfortable with two feet on the ground
Then you don't need wings now, you don't need wings now

Have you set down your course or are you out of control my dear
Or are you accidentally part of some involuntary movement, here
We thought we knew it so well we could do it with our arms tied behind our backs and our eyes shut tight
I thought i knew it so well i could stop, so i stopped, and i can't, can't start again

Stand under the hole in your roof
and let the rain come in and fall down on your head
'cause it's a simple joy, you can bring upon yourself
'cause it's a simple something new, something else

Trees stand in a perfect line, trees stand at attention
Not much time has passed, but already she likes concrete better than grass, and i don't think we'll last

So i, stare up at the sky
and it hurts my eyes
Maybe i'll go blind
Maybe all i'll see is, all i'll see is sunshine,
sunshine, sunshine

I'm not trying to sound, i'm just trying to sound
I don't want to sound like this,
sound like this, sound like this

You're the last day of April every year
ahh, your grey, feeling for something, anything you can't have
oversight, ode you the road, pulled by a current, tossed over in the wind
you focus your sights and try,

Try to stare up at the sky
Does it hurt your eyes?
Maybe you'll go blind
Or maybe all you'll see is, all you'll see is, sunshine, sunshine
Walk in a straight line
Yu waste energy in the daytime
and i know exactly what i'm doing, doing, sometimes




<3

Cathrine

Midnight Special

I went out Saturday night to Castle Hill RSL and it's a nice place but still had your typical guy on the piano singing bad covers. I was meh about it until he played this song. It makes me want to dance. lol I love the introduction.


Creedence Clearwater Revival - Midnight Special





^___^

Cathrine

Mess Around / I Got A Woman

So so... I watched half of Ray yesterday with Tom. I nearly died when they had Art Tatum playing in the background of one of the scenes. I mean.... COME ON! Casually listening to Art like that? I would have loved to have been able to listen to his music live. Jazzzzzzzz.......

I love both of these tracks from the movie. :)



Ray Charles - Mess Around





Ray Charles - I Got A Woman





This music makes me want to get up and dance. :D

Loveeeee

Cathrine

The Rain Song

It was raining this morning and I found this song fitted perfectly with the weather. Led Zeppelin love.



Led Zeppelin - The Rain Song





Love,

Cathrine

The Middle East

I'm so glad to be alive right now. The weather is beautiful outside and I just washed my car in the sunshine. I went out last night with Tom to see The Middle East at Manning Bar and slept over afterwards. In the morning I got to wake him up, have breakfast with him and fail at getting the last word in the crossword. I love those morning times with him. I'll gush. I could spend every morning content just eating cereal next to him while he does the crossword and I read the paper. I like those little jolts you get when you look up and are reminded he's there, like the rise and fall of a rollercoaster that my emotions ride. You can't always be rushing down-hill in love... but I love the little dips during the day when it all comes back to you in a rush that you are so very lucky.

Tom and I saw The Middle East. He has a mate in the band. They have two tracks that you can listen to on their myspace. They were so enchanting live. I felt enveloped in sound and was brought to tears by the perfection of one song in particular. The mixture of voices harmonised in such a way that they had this yearning kind of quality. I couldn't pin it down, it pulled at me and yet it was exactly where it should be. Their music too was delicate and yet firmly held together. I sensed strong musicianship driving their music, layers of sounds seemed carefully considered for the impact they had on the overall tone colour.

Haha.. I am still wrapped in my bliss-state. When they played 'Blood', the crowd seemed to also echo back the main melody and as it ramped up it was powerful to be standing in the middle of it. I love music that moves me. I bought their EP afterwards. I'd be very keen to buy an album when they put one out.

:)

I'm also excited to buy Nouvelle Vague's new album. Once I buy it, I'll write about it too you can bet on that.

<3

Cathrine

I Heart You Online

The interwebs provides us with so much awesome. This is maybe the new breed of music it inspires - musicians that play ukelele and sing cute lyrics about the internet. If this is all there is, please kill me now, but I think maybe small doses of this won't be lethal...

Also, it's cute factor was enough to tip the scales in my decision to finally add Thomas in my Facebook profile status. So I'm now publically in a relationship with my man. It's sad but fantastic.



Rocky and Balls - I Heart You Online




<3

Cathrine

Dancing In The Dark

The first time I heard this cover, I did not like it. I thought Tegan and Sara were lame. :P So now, after almost 7 months of dating Tom... I think I'm coming around. We listen to so much of each other's music and you know, I think I like their cover of Springsteen's Dancing In The Dark. I didn't realise it was a Springsteen song until today though. And only this afternoon I was listening to Born To Run (just before I got to Tom's place!). It seems this day was brought to you by Sprinsteen. <3


Tegan and Sara - Dancing in the Dark





So you know Tom, we could totally do this as a duet. :D I remember this song from when I was growing up, listening to 2WS. It makes me happy. :D


<3

Cathrine

Baby Can I Hold You

She has a beautiful voice.


Tracy Chapman - Baby Can I Hold You




Sorry
Is all that you cant say
Years gone by and still
Words dont come easily
Like sorry like sorry

Forgive me
Is all that you cant say
Years gone by and still
Words dont come easily
Like forgive me forgive me

But you can say baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Maybe if I told you the right words
At the right time youd be mine

I love you
Is all that you cant say
Years gone by and still
Words dont come easily
Like I love you I love you



<3

Cathrine

I Go To Sleep

Some days the world is calm and quiet. Today is such a day. I woke up at 11am because of daylight savings putting our clocks forward an hour. 10am would have been really late for me, but 11am? Madness. The roads outside are quiet because it's a long weekend. I remember the long weekend and Christmas time in the city... it was so eerie to be able to walk across Parramatta Road without having to wait for the green man during the middle of the day and normal peek hour times.

I'm going to relax today... Hope everyone's enjoying their long weekend.


Sia - I Go To Sleep




When I look up from my pillow
I dream you are there with me
Though you are far away
I know you'll always be near to me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

I look around me
And feel you are ever so close to me
Each tear that flows from my eye
Brings back memories of you to me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

I was wrong, I will cry
I will love you till the day I die
You were all, you alone and no one else
You were meant for me

When morning comes again
I have the loneliness you left me
Each day drags by
Until finally my time descends on me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me



Later,

Cathrine

Genius Next Door

So I was listening to this song while walking to my new place and it's appropriately titled. Tom and I were joking in the morning about how he'd be invited to Mensa for being a genius... and when I move, I'll be living a lot closer to him. Not quite next door, but a 5 min drive away.


It's funny. This track is off her new album "Far" but I've known the song for ages. I had a demo version of it back when I kept non-purchased music on my computer. I like the song very much. Enjoy...



Regina Spektor - Genius Next Door




Some said the local lake had been enchanted
Others said it must have been the weather
The neighbours were trying to keep it quiet
But I swear that I could hear the laughter
So they jokingly nicknamed it the porridge
'Cause overnight that lake had turned as thick as butter
But the local kids would still go swimming
Drinking
Saying that to them it doesn't matter

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you thought it through
You fool

The genius next door was busing tables
Wiping clean the ketchup bottle labels
Getting high and mumbling German fables
Didn't care as long as he was able
To strip his clothes off by the dumpsters
At night while everyone was sleeping
And wade midway into that porridge
Just him and the secret he was keeping

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you thought it through
You foolish child

Oh
Oh

In the morning, the film crews start arriving
With donuts, coffee, and reporters
The kids were waking up hungover
The neighbours were starting up their cars
The garbage men were emptying the dumpsters
Atheists were praying full of sarcasm
And the genius next door was sleeping
Dreaming that the antidote is orgasm

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you thought it through
You foolish child

Oh
Oh




Night,

Cathrine

Ordinary People / Scattered

Who am I? Deep breath in. I used to be idealistic. I used to revel in nature and believe in the almighty power of beauty and truth. For a season, I lived deeply in this belief. Who was I then? Can I recapture her? I liked her a lot. She had wings on her feet and had a tiny smile for whatever came her way. I was once called a butterfly by a lover, because I wouldn't sit still... I kept chasing after this idea of beauty and seeking some sort of perfect communion with it all. He didn't see what I saw, what I thought my next boyfriend saw. In high school you can be idealistic but gradually life beats it out of you.

Who am I now? Broken down, battered. I watch old friends slowly meet the same fate as me. We were young and hopeful. We loved or hoped for love and thought it would be beautiful, meaningful, special. We made plans for our careers and dreamed of changing the world. We thought our little fears would slowly slip away as we grew up into 'adults' and somehow we'd find ourselves at that place where everything is in place and we were happy. Life is untidy though. Plans don't work out. People let you down. Love isn't the big solution you imagined it would be and you see really you're just faced with hard work and difficult decisions and those little fears grow instead of shrink with time.

Still. You don't really lose the hope that things will be good, if only you just hold on and maybe turn a few corners. When I get that new job, new house, new friends, new relationship... things will be better then. What made me think life was beautiful and golden all those years back? How do you get back to that point?

I want to create something beautiful to somehow recreate that which I am longing for. But I fail too often and get discouraged. I read something at work yesterday about the power of being optimistic... something along the lines of what I talked about in my previous post. You know, self-belief makes positive change so much easier - even possible. I don't believe in the power of goodness, beauty, love, and truth to overcome as much anymore. I'm occupied with the hard work of living. Loving is such a difficult thing to add to the already difficult job ahead, but it's the only way to that which I most desire.


I'm filled with bitter laughter. Is this really where I am? Br Ned said I was in a cocoon once. An interesting twist on the butterfly metaphor. He said I wasn't really living as a Christian. He said that when you see a true Christian they seem like a butterfly; the glimpse you have of them delights the eye and lifts your spirits. I lived in this perpetually 'not good enough' environment, where the standard expected was very high. I can't say I completely accepted this as my own because compared to when I was on my own, I clung onto hope and beauty and searched for meaning in it all a lot more. Now I have meaning in abundance, through God, but I've just lost the joy for it all. Where once I strived for purpose, I run from the expectations placed on me. I know I shouldn't run... but this new meaning is both a heavy burden and a joy. Plus I was told it was a heavy burden because I hadn't fully surrendered myself. It's a hard thing to face. Perhaps other people can do this with more success than me... but I guess I didn't find my way. I still believe in God but the passion I had once for more mundane things in the past makes pale my current devotion to God. It shouldn't be that way.

So now as I grow older and can see that I can't follow other's paths but have to make my own decisions of where to go and what to believe/embrace if I'm going to live with them long-term. I once found my completion in God. I think I can get back there. I want to gather up the good and beautiful things to myself again and push out the jaded, bitter, fearfulness that I have inside me. There are two songs which I am listening to at the moment that I love. One is by John Legend - Ordinary People and the other is by a friend (really, friend of a friend).



John Legend - Ordinary People





Lissa - Scattered



I know I'm not supposed to say so much. It's one of my failings - putting so much out there. It makes people uncomfortable... but this is where my thoughts reside. I need to write these things out sometimes. I've done this for years online. I'm far from perfect and don't always think or believe the right things... but what can you do? To pretend to be someone else would be worse.

So I'm at home with my music and a heater and maybe I'll start organising things for the move in a couple of weeks. I'm going to have a lot of space in my new place. I wonder what I'll make my place look like. Tom and I have watched a few movies lately that have given me ideas and I watched (500) Days of Summer with Kat and I loved her apartment. I want to capture something of the magic of the Fool's room in the tower. I want it to be more than a home, but a sanctuary and reflection of who I am.


Later,

Cathrine

Curl

I realised tonight that I haven't used my eMusic credits yet. I just downloaded a couple of Darren Hanlon tracks so now I'm getting some Sneaker Pimps. I was so into them in high school. They were the perfect kind of upbeat dreariness, dark vs light, melancholy poet. :P


Sneaker Pimps - Curl





Anyway. Life is still kicking along. Signed the lease for my new place yesterday and I'm going to open the place up on Saturday and do a full inspection. I'll give my report in to the real estate agent afterwards on the condition of the place. I won't be moving in till later in October though. Driving lessons are going awesomely well. :) My instructor is very, very good at his job. He makes me, the most self-depreciating person, feel as if she's capable and will one day be an awesome driver. I'm not an awesome anything! But with this guy, I am on my way to being an awesome driver. It's exciting. It makes me wonder what else I could be, you know? Self-belief accounts for a lot, so it seems.


It was my boy's birthday on Monday but I got to see him yesterday. We watched Fight Club and it blew my mind. Such an incredible movie... It was nothing of what I was expecting. I expected mindless violence but it was a mind-trip. I like movies that make you see your world differently because of it. The movie confronts your reason for living. It looks at consumerism and the aimless wandering people get into because the marketing spin fed to them is unrealistic and mostly unattainable. It creates disillusionment, resentment, bitterness and defeatism. I think there is some validity to the issues raised in the movie but I drew the line somewhere further back and the movie went too far. It turned finding meaning in life into chasing death. In the end you need something to live for, something to belief in and rely upon. The movie showed me the unreliablity of people though. I think I walk around with a subconscious fear of abandonment and it takes the smallest things to bring it out. I wonder a lot of the time what it'd be like to live without that fear. I envy those who have families where people care for each other unconditionally. Anyway. So it was an awesome movie and I recommend it highly. I'm just one crazy girl though... so the stuff I took away from it are definately affected by my crazy. :P


I'm trying to see life as something I control... haha like driving a car. I know God has created the roads and the rules, but I still have to steer and change gears and do all the hard work. I sometimes forget that I'm responsible for all that and then I wonder why I crash. Seeing life with a sense of ability and control is quite empowering as well as scary, but I'm less scared and more excited. I want to know where life will take me and if I have some say in it, it might actually go the places where I want it to.

My two cents on driving and life. :P

Cathrine

One Dove

This song reminds me of times listening to music with Tom in the wee hours of the night/morning. Such a good time of day to listen to Antony...



Antony and the Johnsons - One Dove




<3 you

Cathrine

Sea Of Love

Walking home, listening to this song and smiling. It's a tender little thing. Sad and sweet.



Cat Power - Sea of Love





Life can be so disappointing at times, I keep looking for the grey clouds rather than the silver lining. But it's not exactly the best habit in the world. I'm learning to see the good and not just the bad in where I am. I'm also seeing the need to be kinder to myself and others, though that's a really hard thing to do.

Later,

Cathrine

Happy Birthday

So today is my baby's birthday. Happy Birthday Tom! :)


The Beatles - Birthday





<3

Cathrine

La

I had a nice day at work. Got lots of work done and I got to really appreciate working with my coworkers and kids a many points during the day. I love that we all just pulled together and worked so well as a team to get the centre clean after the massive dust storm yesterday. And it was a girl's bday a couple of days before and we hadn't had anything come from home - no muffins or whatever to celebrate - so we baked for her with the children and had a nice party at afternoon tea. :) So charming. Getting all the kids together to sing happy birthday and for the birthday girl to sit at the front with a friend is one of our special rituals.

Also, I got some thrilling news! I'm able to take heaps of holidays! I might be going overseas with a friend in addition to going to the Philippines at the end of the year. I can come back to work on Jan 28, I discovered. Oh incredible luck! Oh amazing bliss! I can't even begin to imagine how many dreams will come true if I can travel to England/France at the start of next year. How lucky am I???

And lastly, I had a two hour driving lesson after work today and I learnt so much. Really, lots and lots! I think of myself as a slow learner and someone who needs to practice things a lot before I get them but he kept teaching me things and pushing me and I kept learning more things and adding them in to what I was doing. For serious! This teacher is just that good. So good that he has me thinking that I'm good because I'm a good learner. LOL It's a half truth. I'm teachable and he's an awesome teacher. So I'm very lucky in that regard also.

On the bus I was listening to this song. I hated it when Tom first sent it to me. I said it was too cheerful... but today, this song is perfect! lol :)



Old Man River - La




Night y'all,

Cathrine

I Was Young When I Left Home

Could you believe that I left this off the list of 'home' songs for my mix? I know it's not upbeat but it's so beautiful and powerful and it carries meaning in that I introduced Tom to it and then later found out it's a Bob Dylan cover.



Antony + Bryce Dessner - I Was Young When I Left Home





I had such a crazy day. I kept estimating how long it would take me to do things so I could try and pack in as many errands as I could before 6pm because I had an asthma training inservice at work. What an appropriate day for it too. Such crazy weather to wake up to! We had a dust storm of epic proportions making everything this garish red/orange colour. It was such fine red dust too, I've seen nothing like it. If you're not from Sydney, check it out here.

Anyway. I ramble. Today I packed in lots of things... most importantly I was able to meet the owners of the property I'm moving into. They're a nice old couple and I think it'll be fine living below them. I move in as of the 1st of October. :) It's so soon... it's like when I got a car, I couldn't believe my luck! Someone pinch me, is this really happening? :) I'm sorry/sad things didn't work out with Kat but I think our friendship will be better for having our separate spaces. So I'm excited.

Got work tomorrow... as always... but keen to go back and see my kids and think about re-arranging the room/furniture and how everything will work together. :)

Night,

Cathrine

>>> And yes, I blog almost every day. I seem to always have something musical to say. :P

I Want You Back

I called the real estate agent on the bus coming home and they told me I am their first preference and I pretty much have the place, the owners just want to meet me before I sign the papers. I don't see why they'd say no after meeting me so I all but have a new place! I'm so very excited! I was listening to music on the way home and danced to this song in my room...


Jackson 5 - I Want You Back





Now I'm making a mixed CD to play at my new place. New place needs good music to welcome it. :D I told Aisha that I was making a mixed CD with Tom and I impressed her with the new heights that my geekiness reaches. Yes, making a mixed CD to celebrate is naturally the most important thing to do after finding out you've (all but) got a new place to live. :D



New House Mix


The Animals - We've Gotta Get Out Of This Place
The Animals - House of the Rising Sun
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama
Bedouin Soundclash - Gyrasi Went Home
The Lucksmiths - If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home Now
Charles Manson - Home Is Where You're Happy
Simon and Garfunkel - Homeward Bound
Bob Dylan - Shetler from the Storm
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Home On Ice
Sam Cooke - Bring It On Home To Me
Antony and the Johnsons - I Was Young When I Left Home




I'll work out the sequencing and add a few more songs... but it's looking nice. I'm considering adding Les Miserables - Bring Him Home at the end, though it's completely not the upbeat kind of song I'm looking for. It's so painfully beautiful. Check it out.

Going to sleep now because today took a lot out of me. :)

Cathrine

Perfect Day

I made a mobile at work today using sticks and string and while tying the sticks together to make arms the children were asking me what I was making. I told them it's going to be a mobile and once it was done and hanging up with their pictures strung on it, one boy asked me "How do you hold it to your ear and say hello?". It took me a while to realise he thought I meant mobile phone but when I did I cracked up laughing. I love kids. :D They're such a product of this generation...


Anyway. Monday was a Monday... I'm exhausted... but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm waiting for the light. I'm sure things will be okay soon. I'm choosing to distance myself from a lot of who I am/was. This is my choice, I keep reminding myself. I'm moving out because things aren't what they should be and it's not working. I'm not who I should be at church and it's impacting those around me. Yet, who I 'should be' isn't me. And isn't going to be me either. I feel unwelcome and I'm wearing that by walking away. I nearly cried on the bus coming home and I don't know why. Am I sad to leave? I guess so, but I'm not happy staying either. I hope I can find happiness where I end up. Or more simply, peace.

I am striking out on my own now. For so long I've been under the wings of someone else - namely a certain Benedictine. Sigh. Who am I without those around me moulding me? Who do I want to be? I only have a semblance of maturity and not the real thing. I don't think as things stand I'm much use to any body, not until I figure out who I am and what I want.


....


This is a pretty average recording of Darren Hanlon covering Fischer-Z's Perfect Day. I really like the song though. I heard it live when I went to The Lucksmiths concert. Darren was opening for them. :)


Darren Hanlon - Perfect Day




Love,

Cathrine

See No Evil

Paul, Paul Dempsey, I love you. Truly! His gig last night was tight. He played a lot of songs from his new album and I enjoyed the couple of tracks he played from older albums because the crowd just responded so well. We all sang along and we were all so pumped to be there! However the encore performance made it for me. He played Television's "See No Evil". I *heart* that band. Their music is intricate and fun and fast and full-on. I stumbled upon their music years back and fell in love. They're obscure and so there's a sense of pride in knowing their music, in being in on an amazing secret. So yeah, this is them playing that song. Win, baby, win!



Television - See No Evil





Paul rocked it out so hard. A friend of mine (who Tom and I met there) said Paul plays music so you're constantly in a state of tension and release. I agree. Live music is euphoric and my emotions definately like being lifted the way it does.

Gah. So this weekend has been full on and awesome. It's not even over yet. I had a driving lesson today for 1.5 hours. My first professional lesson in a manual car. So much excitement! I really like my instructor, he reminds me of Dr Cox from Scrubs with the wit and none of the scathing humour.

Love,

Cathrine

Psalm 131 / The Wolves (Act I & II)

I have spent the time on the bus to work reading/praying for so long that it's habit now. Even if things aren't awesome, that habit is a relief. I forget how gentle and good God's word is. I am constantly cut down by my judgemental nature and the people around me. I read this psalm this morning and it's just three verses. I spent some time just considering the first sentence. I'm torn up inside and I'm trying to mend the tears and pride is such a large rip in the fabric of me. I see the love and gentleness in those around me and I am humbled but not brought low enough so as to repent and change. Pride is such a large tear. I want to make real repairs but I fear good intentions won't make good.


Psalm 131

A Song of Ascents. Of David.

1 My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.



I've recently learnt that I shouldn't say what I think all the time. Especially when those things are hurtful and unhelpful. Apparently lots of people knew this already but I guess I missed that lesson. I used to think people will just have to deal or cope or get over whatever it is, because hey, it's true. But when people do it to me? I'm less than thrilled. It's less than helpful. I was told to first think of how I'd like it if that were said to me before speaking - a good enough standard, I think. It made me think "Do unto others as you would have done unto you."

I wouldn't need this lesson so much if I was loving those around me as God commands. It's something I know I need to do but fear to start because of how much damage I've already done and must therefore undo. I also fear to start because I know I will make mistakes again in the future and go through the whole process again. If it were just God and I, I know He'd forgive me but people are different. All excuses really, excuses for pride to grow and stubborness to feel justifed. I'm sorry y'all. For being insensitive, for not calling you, for not listening, for not caring, for not wanting to know, for walking away, for blaming you for my mistakes...

I like Bon Iver. I hadn't heard this song by him... I like it. Seeing a camp fire in the video clip makes me want to go camping.



Bon Iver - The Wolves (Act I & II)




Night,

Cathrine

James Brown

So turns out Tom likes James Brown. Nice!


James Brown - Night Train






and I introduced Tom to a Beatles song I heart.



The Beatles - And Your Bird Can Sing





:)

Cathrine

Real Love

Tom showed me this song yesterday. It makes my heart ache in the perfect way... it fits me and sings back to me my own song. You know those songs that just click? I can't stop listening to it, singing it, feeling it. I sang it at work today at different points (softly, more to myself) while out back with the kids.

I love the little trill in Regina's piano playing. It makes me ache for piano keys. It makes me miss playing so much. It's been years but I miss having a piano in my bedroom and dancing over the keys and making my own music. I miss pounding the keys, and those little trills. I miss rubato.

I once said to myself that I want to control my emotions... and that when I'm upset, I won't turn to music and wallow. I'll sort myself out by using that other side of my brain and not indulging the emotions. You know, use the analytical side of my brain. I guess the problem with that is that while you're in the grip of that... your emotions are not exactly going to let you go.




Regina Spektor - Real Love (John Lennon cover)





Goodnight,

Cathrine

Carbon Monoxide

Life is hard at the moment, so Regina is keeping me company.

Work today was barable. I enjoyed seeing my kids. I can sometimes get lost in them... they're so precious. One of my children has really started to bond with me and I love how he's coming out of his shell and playing more with the kids as I encourage/invite him to join in. I am getting swamped in cuddles and "I love yous" at the moment too. Perhaps because last week I made such a big deal about giving cuddles and caring for each other when another child was pushing.


Regina Spektor - Carbon Monoxide




Come on daddy [x8]

Carbon monoxide
Soon we'll go to sleep
No one will notice we're gone
Cause we don't have a job to keep
They'll just say that we're being lazy
Sex crazy, sex cra-zazy
They'll just say we're living our whole life in bed
And we'll be in bed but we'll be oh so very much
Dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a
Dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a
Dead-a, D-dead
Yeah
But we're so cool, we're so cool, we're so cool
Dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a
Dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a
Dead-a, D-dead
Dead
But we're still cool, we're still cool, we're still cool





Cathrine

Between The Bars

I just filled in an application for a passport. Yeah baby! Life is going at a million miles an hour and I'm trying to keep up... I'm excited but nervous. I'm going to the Philippines with mum at the end of the year for 2 weeks. :)

It's already getting to be mid-September. This years feels almost over. Blink and it'll be gone. I was listening to this song yesterday... I like it. Another Elliott Smith cover.



Madeleine Peyroux - Between The Bars





I wonder where people get the bravery to travel overseas - backpack on their own through foreign countries, where you don't know the people or the customs. I was talking with a friend about going to work in England as a light-hearted kind of idea. I could never really do it. I'm not brave enough. But it would be nice if I were that adventurous.


Anyway, better get ready to head out... big day ahead.

Cathrine

(500) Days Of Summer

I saw (500) Days Of Summer tonight with Kat... and I loved the soundtrack. This Regina song hit me where I lived. Especially the line, "I'm the hero of this story I don't need to be saved"...


Regina Spektor - Hero





The scene in the movie where You Make My Dreams Come True was used cracked me up! Love, love, love! It shows the main character (also named Tom) dancing to work after having got the girl. :) I remember when I first started dating Tom life was seriously just that golden and glorious! haha I remember when walking felt like dancing and I was constantly singing/humming/whistling "Good Day Sunshine". Bliss!



Hall & Oates - You Make My Dreams Come True





Today was pretty fantastic. I bought Paul Dempsey's new album and bought The Beatles Rock Band for Guitar Hero. Then met up with Tom and we went to his Shakespeare lecture. :) Afterwards I had an afternoon that makes me laugh to reflect on it. Tom and I climbed a tree in Victoria Park, splashed seagulls while eating lunch on the grass, listened to Shelter In The Storm on my iPod while walking around Central station, bumped into an art gallery in China Town, drank coffee in a Starbucks... Action packed.

You make me happy. :)


Night,

Cathrine

Ljósið

I love music with beautiful, meaning-filled lyrics. I love music that tells stories, that captures moments. I try and string them together to create my own soundtrack. I try and find the perfect song to fit my mood or current situation. However, there are times when words get in the way and they detract and distract. In these times I take refuge in my lyric-less music, my jazz and classical music. When I'm on my own, I sometimes sing in the shower... not words... but just sing melodies that are sad or reflective or contented. I let my voice go where it will. It feels like a dance sometimes... not being bound by words means you can sometimes say something deeper.


That's how I see it anyway. :) Tom shared this with me this morning. I think it's beautiful.



Ólafur Arnalds - Ljósið




Love,

Cathrine

Betty Davis Eyes

It's a Wednesday - my day off. :) But I have Friday off too for Tom and my six month anniversary. Three day week bliss. I have gone through the wringer lately but I'm seeing the light. The weather is warmer, days at work are settling into a outdoor start which is lovely, and I'm looking at what I have and I'm remembering to be thankful.

I have a few errands to run today and in the evening I'm going to watch a movie with Kat called 500 Days of Summer. It looks like a lot of fun. I'm also looking forward to seeing Paul Dempsey at the Manning next week. So in honour of him, this:



Paul Dempsey - Betty Davis Eyes




:)

Cathrine

God On Our Side

So I was walking to Tom's place yesterday and listening to my iPod. It has such a wealth of songs that I don't know since Tom gave me a random selection of his music. Anyway, I've been curious about who Manfred Mann is and then this song came on. I was moved despite myself. And I found out today it's actually written by Bob Dylan. Haha. He keeps doing that... writing amazing songs that people cover.



Manfred Mann - God On Our Side





In other news, car insurance is sorted out... now for a place to move out to.

Cathrine

Gamble Everything For Love / Amateur

So I've been putting this off because writing about the Aimee Mann concert would be hard to contain properly in words. However, I'm going to put on my "give it a go anyway" hat and see what happens. ^_^


I had to meet Tom's family at the Enmore Theatre at 7.45pm, which gave me around 20 mins to get ready after I got home for work. :D In a mad rush I showered, washed and blow dried my hair, and got dressed! I ran to the station in 6 minutes and made the train with 2 minutes to spare. Mad skills. I was so excited that when I saw Tom I did this 'tarded run and jump thing... good thing he was quick enough to pick me up. :P Sometimes a hug hello isn't enough, you know?

I got the ticket and Anna said that Ben Lee was opening for Aimee. I didn't really know his music but I was curious and excited. After a drink, we sat down and Ben Lee sang this song to open:



Ben Lee - Gamble Everything For Love





It made me smile. It still does. I like listening to it. Check out the location of the video clip. :) Ben Lee played a few songs that I hadn't heard that I liked also. He won me with his audience participation. I lovelove singing and singing legitimately during a concert? LOVE. Normally I'm singing along quietly to songs I like and hoping the people around me aren't too annoyed and can't hear me too much. But Ben Lee had us doing call and response songs, one of them being:



Ben Lee - Song For the Divine Mother of the Universe





Ben Lee was quite a goofy character. Endearingly goofy, though. He was clearly Australian and made a few cheesy references to Kerry Ann Kenley, Bert Newton and Neighbours. But he won me when someone from the crowd called out, "Sing Gamble Everything For Love" and Ben said, "I sung that first Mr Lateypants"! Nice. :) Aww, and instead of having a band to back him, he had his iPod. For serious. :P It made me laugh a lot.


Aimee Man's concert started on a slow note. I wasn't too keen on the bland flavour of the songs. She did warn us she wanted to play some songs she normally doesn't and then proceeded to sing a B-Side track. However, I really got into her music later into the performance. She had two people supporting her, two guys, and they played a wide gamut of instruments - electric keyboards that produce quirky sounds, drums, bass, piano, tamporine/percussion, recorder! In particular, of the guys on piano made my night by the way he jazzed everything up so much on the piano... it was so so good to hear live piano music like that again. I forgot how much I missed just pure awesome on the piano. I have too much guitar music at the moment. lol


So Aimee played a few songs that I really liked. She sang this on her own, about three quarters into the concert and it was haunting and beautiful:



Aimee Mann - Red Vines




When she sang Wise Up, it was perfect. It was one of those moments that clicks and all you can think is "I'm really glad I'm here, could it get better than this?" and you look over and an amazing person is holding your hand and it does. It's something you can't describe, a mixture of gladness and joy... love and music. I also really liked:



Aimee Mann - Amateur





I think half the awesomeness of the night out was that it was with Tom and his family too. I like his family a lot. It's really nice that they're awesome and go to concerts together. I'll just live vicariously through his family. Tom was all, "see what you're getting yourself into?" haha I love it. :)


I hope that post wasn't too painful for you. I'm not really in a concert-review frame of mind. I'm more focused on getting car insurance for my new car and looking for somewhere to move out to that I can afford on the North Shore. When it rains, it pours.

Later gaters,

Cathrine

Wise Up

I'm going to see Aimee Mann with Tom, his dad, brother, and sister tomorrow night. Completely awesome. It's very sweet of them to invite me. I'm excited at the thought of going to a concert with Tom and his family. I only know a couple of her songs but I love this song.


Aimee Mann - Wise Up





So yay. :)

Love,

Cathrine

Singing Cats

Saw this on a friend's blog and couldn't resist reposting.


Singing Cats!




<3!

Rap

So when I was in Primary School I had a friend who was obsessed with 2Pac. I listened to California Love until we both had it memorised. I haven't listened to 2Pac since high school (year 10) and Tom reminded me in a passing comment of his music. So I'm reminiscing. And there's this Kanye song... I heard it on my iPod and recognised it. Tom sings bits of it at different times. :P It made me laugh on the way home - "we want pre-nup". LOL!



Life Goes On - Tupac




Kanye West - Gold Digger





So way back when... when I was 16 and dating boys who drove cars and danced to RnB... who were charmers and playas... I liked this music, mostly against my will. Everyone listened to RnB/rap and so what choice did I have? Anyway, I still like dancing to this music. It's kind of the only thing I know how to dance to... but it makes me look kinda trashy. :P

But since Kat's not home, I can turn it up and dance and look like westie, wanna be nigga trash. :P

Laters,

Cat

It Don't Matter To The Sun

So I was walking home and looking up at the moon and sometimes songs just click. I never really heard this song before... but I did tonight.



Rosie Thomas - It Don't Matter To The Sun




:)

Cathrine

My Body Is A Cage

Today this song didn't leave my mind for long.... sang it so often with Tom at different points. :) It's catchy.


Arcade Fire - My Body is a Cage




:)

Cathrine

Something For Kate - Waltz #2 (Elliott Smith cover)

Oh. My. Gosh. I think I'm transformed into bliss. I was looking for a youtube video of Paul Dempsey singing "Born To Run" because he always performs it at his live shows and it's awesome but man, I couldn't find it. However my dear music aficionados! I found this. This incredible gem... A blend of two of my favourite artists. I avoid listening to Elliott and have done so for years because music is powerful and Elliott has the powerful ability to drag me downwards. However, I'm pretty low at the moment and sometimes you need something equally low to bring you up.

This is gold.



Something For Kate - Waltz #2




First the mic, then a half cigarette
Singing Kathy's clown
That's the man she's married to now
That's the girl that he takes around town
She appears composed
So she is, I suppose
Who can really tell?
She shows no emotion at all
Stares into space like a dead china doll

I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow

Now she's done, and they're calling someone
Such a familiar name
I'm so glad that my memory's remote
'Cos I'm doing just fine hour to hour, note to note
Here it is, the revenge to the tune
You're no good, you're no good, you're no good, you're no good
Can't you tell that it's well understood?

I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow

I'm here today, expect it to stay on, and on, and on
I'm tired, I'm tired
Looking out on the substitute scene
Still going strong
XO Mom
It's OK, it's alright, nothing's wrong
Tell Mr. Man with impossible plans
To just leave me alone
In the place where I make no mistakes
In the place where I have what it takes

I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you annyhow
I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow



I love how the crowd is singing along. We who love Paul, love Elliott also.

Night,

Cathrine

J'ai une voiture....

It's true. I have a car. Mum went and bought me one. A red 2006 Toyota Corolla. I'm a little bit turned around. This week (up until finding out this news) has been un-awesome. I could make a long list of how many ways this week has failed. When mum told me she bought the car, I laugh and then didn't believe her and then did a little bit and laughed some more. It'd been a while since I laughed like that. I didn't know what to do. Be happy? So weird. lol


But it's awesome and I'm grateful and stunned and gah!


I texted a friend at work about the car and she said I no longer had to memorise bus numbers. lol It's funny how many buses I know... but yeah, it's true. I'll be a driver. I'll be more worried about parking than how to get there. Exciting. :) Oh the places I will go! And take Tom with me. *laughs* (all in due time)


On the bus home I listened to such a random assortment of songs... I went without music for a week and nearly died. It was part of a music fast and it was awesome for the first couple of days, then it became more burdensome than edifying so the fast was broken. Music is more than music. It's ingrained in me... it's part of what pumps blood through my veins, it's mixed in with the air that I breathe. So it's awesome to have music back and I definately appreciate it with new eyes and 'use' it in a more considered fashion.


I started making a list of songs in which the artists screams in the song. I'd maybe call the mix "Screamers". So far:



Janis Joplin - Ball and Chain
Paul McCartney - Hey Jude
Emiliana Torrini - Tomorrow
Xiu Xiu - I Luv The Valley Oh!
Joe Cocker - A Little Help From My Friends

(thanks Tom for the last two)



What else is there?

Anyway, night...

Cathrine

A Whole New World

Let's play 'good thing/bad thing'.

Good Thing:
A child brought in a CD with this song on it and sang it for the class. So so brilliant! Disney is love, this song is grand. My lil girl singing this for the whole class - pretty much pitch perfect - made my day. Key changes, male/female vocals be damned she took it all in her stride.


Aladdin & Jasmine - A Whole New World






Bad Thing:
I wanted to sing along with her but really, I couldn't in good conscience take the limelight from her.


<3

Cathrine

Ramona Was A Waitress

This is Paul's first single from his new album "Everything Is True", which is out now. I love his voice. It is so familiar and warm. His music has been a friend from early high school.


Paul Dempsey - Romona Was A Waitress





I'll be buying that album asap.

Cathrine

Excerpts

I have certain favourite lines from songs at the moment.
Some include:



click to enlarge


Bob Dylan - Tangled Up In Blue

Then she opened up a book of poems
And handed it to me
Written by an Italian poet
From the thirteenth century.
And every one of them words rang true
And glowed like burnin' coal
Pourin' off of every page
Like it was written in my soul from me to you,
Tangled up in blue.



Bob Dylan - Shelter From The Storm

Suddenly I turned around and she was standin' there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair.
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."



Simon and Garfunkel - Kathy's Song

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I.



There are others... but this will do for now.

Cathrine

Another World

I have been listening to a lot of Antony lately. I'm almost always singing Daylight and the Sun in my head - consciously and unconsciously. I really like the song. I listened to another Antony song (Another World) with Tom yesterday and it's another incredibly beautiful one. I cried the first time I heard it.



Antony and the Johnsons - Another World






I'm always learning about life, and re-learning. Lessons learnt so far:

- I can face problems and by facing them, begin to fix them
- I am allowed to make mistakes, or rather:
- It's okay for things not to be perfect
- Life is worth the effort
- God loves me
- I'm not alone (thanks Tom, Kat and Aisha)


I sometimes get really scared. I look at where I am and sometimes think I should be so much more further along than I am and I push myself further out than I'm ready because of it. I'm learning to be okay with where I am, even if it's not perfect, and pick up and try. It helps no one to ignore problems. The gentleness in this song is one of the things that kills me. I have been treated so gently and tenderly of late. I think it's one of the things that life needs.

:)

Cathrine