Curl

I realised tonight that I haven't used my eMusic credits yet. I just downloaded a couple of Darren Hanlon tracks so now I'm getting some Sneaker Pimps. I was so into them in high school. They were the perfect kind of upbeat dreariness, dark vs light, melancholy poet. :P


Sneaker Pimps - Curl





Anyway. Life is still kicking along. Signed the lease for my new place yesterday and I'm going to open the place up on Saturday and do a full inspection. I'll give my report in to the real estate agent afterwards on the condition of the place. I won't be moving in till later in October though. Driving lessons are going awesomely well. :) My instructor is very, very good at his job. He makes me, the most self-depreciating person, feel as if she's capable and will one day be an awesome driver. I'm not an awesome anything! But with this guy, I am on my way to being an awesome driver. It's exciting. It makes me wonder what else I could be, you know? Self-belief accounts for a lot, so it seems.


It was my boy's birthday on Monday but I got to see him yesterday. We watched Fight Club and it blew my mind. Such an incredible movie... It was nothing of what I was expecting. I expected mindless violence but it was a mind-trip. I like movies that make you see your world differently because of it. The movie confronts your reason for living. It looks at consumerism and the aimless wandering people get into because the marketing spin fed to them is unrealistic and mostly unattainable. It creates disillusionment, resentment, bitterness and defeatism. I think there is some validity to the issues raised in the movie but I drew the line somewhere further back and the movie went too far. It turned finding meaning in life into chasing death. In the end you need something to live for, something to belief in and rely upon. The movie showed me the unreliablity of people though. I think I walk around with a subconscious fear of abandonment and it takes the smallest things to bring it out. I wonder a lot of the time what it'd be like to live without that fear. I envy those who have families where people care for each other unconditionally. Anyway. So it was an awesome movie and I recommend it highly. I'm just one crazy girl though... so the stuff I took away from it are definately affected by my crazy. :P


I'm trying to see life as something I control... haha like driving a car. I know God has created the roads and the rules, but I still have to steer and change gears and do all the hard work. I sometimes forget that I'm responsible for all that and then I wonder why I crash. Seeing life with a sense of ability and control is quite empowering as well as scary, but I'm less scared and more excited. I want to know where life will take me and if I have some say in it, it might actually go the places where I want it to.

My two cents on driving and life. :P

Cathrine