Why?

Why do we blog? Is it conceit? Self-centred-ness? Is it saying, I do this for me and you can interact with me if you like, but primarily I'm serving myself and my own desires? (Like I was told this morning) I like the way I can talk, and have an audience, but not have to actually interact with anyone. It's a nice little barrier, this blog. A haven? A false form of satisfaction? Like eating imaginary food. Wanting to communicate but not actually doing so, just having a shadow of communication.


I've been blogging since I was 13 or 14. It's therapeutic? Or is it just another barrier to truly facing the things I could be sharing in a real and more meaningful way? But I don't know if I really believe that it's as bad as all that. It can be good or bad... though time and energy does get put into it with very little tangible benefit. I've toyed with giving up blogging and have at different points. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I didn't have a blog as an outlet for my thoughts/music. For ages it reduced my sense of isolation when I was living on my own. Chatting is good for that too, you can forget you're in your room all alone very easily. :P


Anyway. I'm not sure if anything will happen... I don't like knowing that so much of what I've learnt I can't consistently apply anyway. I know better in too many things already and don't do them. Can I have a hope of not wasting time and using the internet (and all it's joys) in a productive/constructive way? And where does leisure come into it anyway? The idea of being constantly produtive frustrates me. Though I suppose it could be argued that leisure time should still be edifying/beneficial even if it's not outright productive. Which leads me to the heart of it... is blogging edifiying? Does it build up or pull down a person? The writer? The reader?


I talk to the girls at work and they relate such crazy stories about people they know and the trouble they get into. I used to think that other people had their lives together, were able to make good decisions but the more I hear them talk the more I realise either I'm not alone or I'm not so bad. (More often the former, because I don't like myself so much. :P)


Yeah,

Cathrine