Road to Zion

I heard this song via Tom... his music tastes are pretty diverse too. You can really feel the beat. I have been dancing in my seat a little while making a new layout. :P I'm happy with what I've come up with. It'll be finished by tonight (I hope!) if I can figure out all the behind the scenes things - HTML and uploading it to Tom's server.


Damian Marley - Road to Zion





Walking on the road to Zion... yeah, that's what we're doing. Someone commented on the woman's voice in the YouTube comments and I think they are haunting and pull the song together beautifully.

There ya go my dears... possibly my last blog in this place.

Love,
Cathrine

Still Real

I read this article on the SMH website about how listening to music with positive lyrics makes you a nicer/more helpful/considerate person. *laughs* I have known that for ages. It's why I stopped listening to Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Tool, etc. I got rid of my 'angry/hate' music because it was affecting me too much. A year after I gave up the last remnants of that music, George released their album Unity (2003). It blew me away with it's hopeful message. It contained within it all my deepest longings for beauty, goodness, honesty, truth, nature and love. I listened to it over and over and felt my heart and thoughts change dramatically.


George - Still Real





I still really admire Katie Noonan and her desire to make this kind of music. In a world that is so hurt and hating, she is so different. She hasn't lost her ability to see life's goodness either after so many years of being in the industry or being now married with two young sons. Marriage and children can sometimes distract you from these higher ideals as you get caught up in the busy-ness of life... but I believe she still holds firmly to those ideals. Plus she likes jazz... and the Beatles... haha I think she's great. When I was 18 and listening to this music, she helped me hold firmly onto goodness and believe that was still worth fighting for.

When I listen to music, I often can't help but sing along. The lyrics are powerful, so I thought I'd post them... :)



I wonder how long I can sustain this mystery
I wonder how we thought we'd get here without strife
I try to recall the beauty
that brought us here
And I cling to that, I cling to that, I cling to that for my life

They say they understand the turmoil that unsettles you
And I say you just fulfill your end of the deal
and I'll fulfill mine
Once we reveal ourselves we're so quick, so quick to analyse
I just want you to be free and enjoy this ride

So go on I'll tell you it's alright
Go on, please tell me you're fine
Don't ever let them get you down
'cause everything that really, really matters
is still real

I'd love to see you shine with every possible radiance
And ignore any thoughts that weren't planted by good
And let intention motivate and stimulate, that is all
And let the cloud that hangs above drift off into the sunset
night

So go on I'll tell you it's alright
Go on, please tell me you're fine
Don't ever let them get you down
'cause everything that really, really matters
is still real


Love,
Cathrine

I Know You Are, But What Am I?

I'm home again. The Philippines was incredible. I met my mum's family for the first time. I met my uncles... one of them in particular is really into music. He sang in choirs from primary school right through to university and he bought me three CDs of a Filipino singer he likes. Her name is Regine Velasquez. :) I looked at him and felt a sort of kinship that I did not expect to experience. This is what it is to have family! He really took care of mum and I too, taking us out almost every day. He took us to dinner and bought us ice creams. We went for walks at night around the local parks - a whole truck load of us (we often travelled in groups of 10+ people). He took mum and I to the night markets and to their huge malls (SM! - Super Mall)!

I also met loads of cousins and great aunts and uncles (I have around 24). We sang karaoke at every party and danced to the same pop songs until I was nearly destroyed by them - Nobody But You, I Got A Feeling, Poker Face, etc. It was fun, but crazy! I spent so much time around people that I nearly lost myself. I became so much more outgoing and brave. I really didn't get as much time as I'd hoped to spend in bible reading and prayer. I was almost never alone!

I came home and have found myself stronger for the time spent away. I feel more confident in my decisions. Is it because I know better who I am? :) I also now have a deeper understanding of where my mum comes from and why she thinks and acts the way she does. I saw lots of things in her that I admire and love about her. She's naturally generous and is able to at times say "this is what God has done for me" without self-consciousness. It surprises me, when her faith shows it's face. It suprises me when mum lets go of her fear of spending money and sees how she is able to help and do good and does it cheerfully.

And I came home to Tom. Two weeks away may seem like a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things but it's funny what time can do. Not having him there showed me even more how much I love him being a part of my life. I value so much what we have. Since my return I've had so much fun with him, sharing our excitement and passion for life/art/God. I am filled to the brim. I feel like I'm home in so many senses of the word. I feel very lucky. :)

So I spent some time this afternoon buying music... I got a $20 iTunes gift card in my bible study secret santa and I bought this song. It's an instrumental piece I found a long time ago and had forgotten about. I quite like the video made to go with it.


Mogwai - I Know You Are, But What Am I?





I'm also planning to pack up and move. I asked Tom for a subdomain from his shupface website and I have hopes that it'll be up in a week or two. It'll cover more topics than music including - nature, art and poetry also. :)

See you 'round,

Cathrine

Last Night in Sydney for 09

Well, my lovelies... what a year it has been. This is my last night in Sydney, I fly out tomorrow for the Philippines and will return early January. I have to say this has blossomed into such a beautiful year. I can look back in gladness to the growth that I've experienced as a teacher at my workplace and in myself spiritually and generally. I left work on Friday with such warmth and love from my boss, the parents, and my wonderful children. I miss them already because I know it'll be three weeks till I see them again and some of them are going to school and won't be coming back! Luckily I still have time with my shadow before I have to leave next year for full time study. I'm carrying the look she gave me as I left Friday evening in my heart... the "quick, one last hug because you're going and ahhh, don't leave without a hug" look. She makes my heart ache, I love her a lot. And one of my boys on Thursday said to me a hastily phrased, "thank you for being with me all those days!" when giving me a hug before I went home. So precious! He's taken to randomly saying, "I love you Cathrine", which is just gorgeous. I love how unconscious children are in the giving and taking of love.

And Tom. :) I'm continually surprised by him. There is just so much love here, it's wonderful. He has encouraged and strengthened me to grow in ways I never would have without him. I am lifted up. I'm really satisfied with where life is heading. I have been longing for a firm foundation in God to stand on for years and I feel it forming for the first time. It's beyond exciting. I love the support I get from my new church, the community and the love I get from Tom. Having the independance to explore my relationship with God with what I already know and without the burdens of not being good 'enough' or doing 'enough' has been really helpful.

I am so proud of myself for sticking this year out. It was so hard at work at times but the satisfaction I now feel for making it and even doing a good job at times makes it worthwhile. And the growth I see in the children and the relationships I've been able to form with parents for the support of their children. My job is so rewarding... for all it takes out, it gives back so beautifully and in ways I could never receive any other way. You can't buy the love of these children, the laughter and good times. :) I think they know I heart them.


I'm worried about this trip though. So worried I can't think clearly. Apparently worry and stress will do that to you. Reflecting on all that I have done and can do is helpful though. Maybe that's why the psalms are full of that... when times are hard, remind yourself of God's amazing power by reflecting on all that he has done for his people. I'm not going to trust in my own strength to get through this, because that's only good for so much... and I'm going to need a lot more to deal with some of the family dramas that I forsee happening. I'm going to need some more help so as I pack, I'm going to pack while listening to hymns and trusting/ reflecting on God's ability to take care of me and my family. How many times did God's people forget and try to do things on their own strength? It's a hard lesson to learn...

Tom and I went to a Nine Lessons and Carols service at church tonight, quite an Anglican service format but it wasn't so traditional. One hymn that I loved, I want to share now. I couldn't find an amazing, polished copy of it on YouTube but this might do... it's simple and kinda neat for that.


W.Y. Fullerton (1857-1932) I Cannot Tell




Love,
Cathrine

Jolene

Il etais un fois...

There was once a time when people looked at me at work and asked "how do you get so much done?" Now I feel like I'm dragging my heels. I'm so ready for a holiday. I've taken to writing myself to do lists, so I can use that sense of satisfaction of crossing it off the list as a motivator to get things done. And so far it's helping. :P

I think I'm going to start counting the days till I leave. I work four days a week and there is only 7 more working days till I'm finished for the year. I think I can manage that. :P

This year has been so full on. To illustrate perhaps why this has been such a full on year... I am the only teacher from my room to have been there at the start of the year. It's a normal thing in child care, with the notoriously high staff turn over rate but gah! I wish it were otherwise. Things would settle down and then another thing would distrupt the room. I'm glad I stuck it out. We've had some crazy times but by and large, I've enjoyed working at my centre.


An example of an awesome moment:
This morning our stick insect shed it's skin and one of the children saw this and told me a stick insect was eating another stick insect! I freaked out but when I saw what she meant, I was excited rather than scared. It looked as if it was eating another insect because it was eating it's old skin. I didn't know they did that... that is, ate their old skin. :)

Ah dear...

This is a song I think I should buy, I think it's grand.


Ray LaMontagne - Jolene




Love,
Cathrine

Home

I had such a wonderful weekend.

Saturday was spent visiting an art gallery with Tom and his dad in Marrickville. We stopped in on a local market on the way back and Tom got me an early Christmas present - a beautiful red top with a boab tree on it. <3 Then came back for lunch, read more Harry Potter and a rode home to my place in the afternoon.

This morning I rode to Tom's place and went to morning church, which was a very nice service with loads of kids. Then we had lunch and I read more of my Harry Potter book with Tomtom and we listened to a podcast sermon by John Piper. I'm very excited about these sermons on demand... :D And then had dinner later with Tom's family - an early Christmas dinner because his brother is going overseas in a week or so. :) Tom and I got to decorate the gingerbread biscuits with icing beforehand... His mum cooked up an amazing dinner, I'm stuffed full. :D


And this song. :D I heart it. It has such wonderful energy.
I love you Tom. <3



Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Home



Her:
Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa,
Not that way that I do love you.

Him:
Holy, moley, me, oh my,
You're the apple of my eye,
Girl I've never loved one like you.

Her:
Man oh man you're my best friend,
I scream it to the nothingness,
There ain't nothing that I need.

Him:
Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie,
Chocolate candy, Jesus Christ,
Ain't nothing please me more than you.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Mother, I'm coming home.

Him:
I'll follow you into the park,
Through the jungle through the dark,
Girl I never loved one like you.

Her:
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls,
I've been everywhere with you.

Him:
That's true.
Laugh until we think we'll die,
Left with(?) on a summer night,
Never could be sweeter than with you.

Her:
And in the streets you run afree,
Like it's only you and me,
Geeze, you're something to see.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Daddy, I'm coming home.


(talking)
Him: Jade
Her: Alexander
Him: Do you remember that day you fell outta my window?
Her: I sure do, you came jumping out after me.
Him: Well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke your ass, you were bleeding all over the place and I rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that?
Her: Yes I do.
Him: Well there's something I never told you about that night.
Her: What didn't you tell me?
Him: While you were sitting in the backseat smoking a cigarette you thought was gonna be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you til just now.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you.

Him:
Home. Let me come home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

Her:
Ahh home. Yes I am ho-oh-ome.
Home is when I'm alone with you.

Her:
Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa...
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls...

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you...




Love,
Cathrine

December

It's December already. In a little over 2 weeks I'll be heading to the Philippines and work will be finished (for me) for the year. I did a little looking back over my blog just then and I think I have to say this has been a full on year, but things are settling into happier waters. Some of the changes?

a. new church
b. new home
c. dating tom
d. no longer working with br ned
e. no longer involved with fifi
f. mum bought me a car
g. paid driving lessons

It's been really hard at times to keep it all together. I wonder what next year will be like... could it be that things will calm down? I would love for things to settle into a routine of church, bible study, work and Tom and seeing friends in my spare time.

Music continues to be most old stuff rehashed. New stuff is harder to come by these days. I have a driving lesson this afternoon and so I better dash..


Meow,
Cathrine

Take My Life

I'm humbled by the genuineness of love shown by people in this world. I went to a wedding this morning and was deeply impressed by the way the couple demonstrated their love for each other. I'm confronted by their maturity as well... who am I to talk of marriage? I'm still a child. I see the kindness and love shown by the bride's friends and I wonder who will speak for me on my wedding day. I am a little forgetful of my friends, though I have awesome friends, I don't make enough time for them. I forget what I'm missing out on too in neglecting them. Life is enriched with friends and family.

I have been really enjoying reading the bible on my way to work. I'm reading through 2 Chronicles at the moment and it's really instructive looking at the lives of so many past kings of Israel/Judea in such a condensed way. The distinction is so clear, follow God and you will prosper and live, serve other Gods and it's over. You wonder how can they possibly keep making the same mistakes? I wonder until I look at my own life. It's so easy to forget God's proper place and like friends, neglect him. In the end, I have to stand before God and account for all that I've done.

I like Saturdays. I like taking time out and being still before God. It seems as soon as I am still, I am comforted by God and know his presence. And strength returns to me to help me continue in the face of some real challenges that I'm facing... and joy fills my heart as I recognise God moving in my life. I have taken less to listening to music and more to allowing my mind to rest in the love and knowledge of God. I enjoy too listening to hymns and other Christian music, though most of what I own are hymns. :) I'm glad it's Sunday tomorrow... it's nice to look forward to church.

This is one hymn that I love.


Chris Tomlin - Take My Life






I don't know how this blog will look in the upcoming months. I'm not really inspired to write every day and share music in the same way. I feel as if I already have enough on my plate. *laughs* We'll see, I guess.

Love,
Cathrine

Grand Return - Down On Love

It would be nice to learn to dance. I went out Friday night with Tom to his friend's farewell and was danced around the place by his friend's dad. It was quite embarrassing but in a fun way. I wish I could fly around the floor and dance like he and his wife does. Looks like a lot of fun.

Driving lessons are going well. I'm excited. I'm excited in general about living so close to Tom but the idea of driving and being at his place in 2 minutes drives me crazy. I'm all kinds of happy to be able to pop by have a swim and cook dinner with him... and for me to come home from work and him be there to cook up a storm with him again. haha My man gets me trying new things. He has awesome taste in music and consequently has me dancing along to life to his music. Cooking, dancing, riding, singing, praying together... Gush! I have been away from the internet for a while and I have so much love stored up that I can't help but overflow with it all.

I'm excited about my birthday on Wednesday. We're going to the Vanguard for some French cabaret... Edith Piaf tribute style. So much love. Going with Tom, Eddy and Sara and dinnering with these above awesome people as well as Aisha and Tharani and maybe Jason. My people. <3

I am in a good place.

I have travel on my mind, the end of the year is fast approaching and then I'll be heading off to the Philippines. I recently just got back from Melbourne with Aisha and it was really nice to be somewhere else for a while and the only thing to think about was how shall I enjoy myself today? *grins* I learnt so much about being girly and taking care of myself... I have come back to Sydney with a healthier 'beauty regime' and a greater desire to wear dresses and skirts. I can not get over the Friday night we spent at a club (my first time) in which I got so much male attention. If ever I wanted to play the "I'm average, nothing special" card, I think I'll have this memory to remind me that I'm not average at all. I don't know what I'll do with that knowledge... will it give me more self confidence? Will it make me less self conscious? Maybe in time. I really enjoyed spending time with Aisha over 5 consecutive days. She's such an awesome girl. :)


Anyway... I'm currently enjoying Bob Dylan (All Along The Watch Tower, I Shall Be Released) and Simon and Garfunkel. I feel quite old school. It feels so good to be blogging again. I find it a funny thing. When I talk to certain people I find it really easy to focus on all the good things going on, and with others I find it impossible to not talk about all the bad. Blogging puts me in a headspace where I'm comfortable and so tonight I'm glad and reminded of all the awesome things I have. Eg, Church last night was awesome... :) and having a record player in my living room and playing Charlie Parker and Bud Powell... that's awesome as well. haha Currently I'm listening to Sarah Blasko's "Down On Love". It's magic.



Sarah Blasko - Down On Love






Love,
Cathrine


PS> Thanks Jason for the use of your modem. :)

Strawberry Swing

It's my last night here in Roseville. Tomorrow I move! I have been packing steadily all day and I still have some odds and ends to sort out. I won't have the internet for a while, until it's set up in my new place which could be a week from now or two weeks depending on how busy they are. So I will be away from my blog a little.

I'm going to make my moving house mix cd tonight, ready for my new place. :) But I'll leave you with this song - not because I like Coldplay or even this song as such, but because the video clip is incredible! :) But gah, I can't embed it... so click the link and watch for yourself. :)



Coldplay - Strawberry Swing



Later guys,

Cathrine

Sparrow

I've had this song in my head for the last few days. I'm not enitrely sure why it echoes within me... I looked up the lyrics just then and at the end, where it says the Earth will write the eulogy, I heard "the Lord". Anyway. It's typical S&G, poetry to music.



Simon and Garfunkel - Sparrow



Who will love a little Sparrow?
Who's traveled far and cries for rest?
"Not I," said the Oak Tree,
"I won't share my branches with
no sparrow's nest,
And my blanket of leaves won't warm
her cold breast."

Who will love a little Sparrow
And who will speak a kindly word?
"Not I," said the Swan,
"The entire idea is utterly absurd,
I'd be laughed at and scorned if the
other Swans heard."

Who will take pity in his heart,
And who will feed a starving sparrow?
"Not I," said the Golden Wheat,
"I would if I could but I cannot I know,
I need all my grain to prosper and grow."

Who will love a little Sparrow?
Will no one write her eulogy?
"I will," said the Earth,
"For all I've created returns unto me,
From dust were ye made and dust ye shall be."




So I have tomorrow off to rest. I'm coming down with the flu. I move house on Saturday and I really don't want to be too sick to do that. I'm excited to have this change finally come about after so much looking and waiting.

Later,

Cathrine

Little Lion Man

Kat asked if I'd heard this song... and thanks to Tom's younger brother, I have. haha It's cool. I like it.



Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man




:)

Cathrine

Blogotheque

French AND awesome music. I couldn't be more excited! :) Check out Bon Iver on blogotheque. :)

The whole thing is so intimate. Plus I love reading French aloud. It's such a beautiful language. :)

Looove,

Cathrine

Nantes

I am in love. Love, love, love Beirut! I love this video clip and song so much. The instruments.... I'm speechless, the man's drums are bins. Look at the graffiti art? Swooon! So love this guy's voice, it's precise and the right amount of crazy/quirky. haha So I'm glad eMusic has this album for download because of love. :)



Beirut - Nantes




Night,

Cathrine

Hawaiian Robots

It's worth it. I remember the goodness. I remember the peace. I am walking through fire right now, or so it feels. Why do I make this into such a big thing? It seems like no one else is mentioning it's significance, but I'm no longer working with Br Ned and no longer attending St John's. C'est tout fini. I know there is life beyond this, Christian life beyond Br Ned, but I feel subdued and worried. Should I? I know they all would say, yes and very much so. Ah dear. I got a painful email Thursday and reflecting on it makes me glad to be moving on, but it doesn't take away the pain that goes with losing something that was once precious.

Anyway, instead of going out with Aisha as planned today, I'm home. It's okay... I'm going to pack for my move next weekend and maybe use this beautiful weather for laundry. I 'found' the bonus disk on Something For Kate's Desert Lights. I like it. It has Born To Run on it as well as this song:


Something For Kate - Hawaiian Robots




Paul's music is often the food my aching heart needs. But "I'm better of as a robot"? lol Who knows. I like the quirkiness... and the veracity. Oh man, I get tired of being so emotional sometimes. I would be so much happier if this was an easier, more natural transition.

Laters y'all.

Cathrine

Untitled

Things I love:

1) The night air
2) The warmth of my ugg boots
3) Tom
4) The way music lifts my spirits
5) The reminders I get to rely on God


Life doesn't always go to plan. I'm going to have to learn to cope with that better, since there are other people in the world and life doesn't revolve around me. I saw such a beautiful rainbow while driving this evening. My driving instructor is awesome, he's willing to follow me to Epping when I move. How very very lucky. So counting my blessings:


1) I work within an awesome centre, with awesome children and staff
2) My kids are obsessed with insects and I have to take a lot of the pleasure/blame in that. One of the boys found a baby stick insect yesterday. Can you believe??
3) Tom
4) I have plans to go to Melbourne in November with my best friend
5) I'm going to the Philippines at the end of the year with mum
6) I'll be moving to Epping to be close to Tom and my new church
7) I'm feeling at home in my new church
8) I have an awesome driving instructor and I'll be getting my license soon?
9) I have a beautiful (almost) new car that mum bought me to drive once I do
10) I am a child of God despite my sinful nature


Post-chat with Aisha, I can add:


1) I'm moving to Epping in 9 days
2) I'm going to ask for house plants as house warming gifts. :)
3) I'm going parasailing with Aisha on Saturday!
4) I get to see Tom a lot this week (haha, you guys are a unit! - reminding me how awesome each of you are by complimenting the other)
5) Aisha


Lucky me. :)

Cathrine


PS: Does this list-style of writing make me a little like Cash, Tom? <3

Pinstripe

I forget. I forget. I'm tired. I don't want to cry or give up. I want to be better. I want to run towards being better, rather than hide from being not good enough. I feel like Something For Kate's music...



Something For Kate - Pinstripe



There is no need to throw your arms around
And there is no need to ask unless there is some doubt
If you are comfortable with two feet on the ground
Then you don't need wings now, you don't need wings now

Have you set down your course or are you out of control my dear
Or are you accidentally part of some involuntary movement, here
We thought we knew it so well we could do it with our arms tied behind our backs and our eyes shut tight
I thought i knew it so well i could stop, so i stopped, and i can't, can't start again

Stand under the hole in your roof
and let the rain come in and fall down on your head
'cause it's a simple joy, you can bring upon yourself
'cause it's a simple something new, something else

Trees stand in a perfect line, trees stand at attention
Not much time has passed, but already she likes concrete better than grass, and i don't think we'll last

So i, stare up at the sky
and it hurts my eyes
Maybe i'll go blind
Maybe all i'll see is, all i'll see is sunshine,
sunshine, sunshine

I'm not trying to sound, i'm just trying to sound
I don't want to sound like this,
sound like this, sound like this

You're the last day of April every year
ahh, your grey, feeling for something, anything you can't have
oversight, ode you the road, pulled by a current, tossed over in the wind
you focus your sights and try,

Try to stare up at the sky
Does it hurt your eyes?
Maybe you'll go blind
Or maybe all you'll see is, all you'll see is, sunshine, sunshine
Walk in a straight line
Yu waste energy in the daytime
and i know exactly what i'm doing, doing, sometimes




<3

Cathrine

Midnight Special

I went out Saturday night to Castle Hill RSL and it's a nice place but still had your typical guy on the piano singing bad covers. I was meh about it until he played this song. It makes me want to dance. lol I love the introduction.


Creedence Clearwater Revival - Midnight Special





^___^

Cathrine

Mess Around / I Got A Woman

So so... I watched half of Ray yesterday with Tom. I nearly died when they had Art Tatum playing in the background of one of the scenes. I mean.... COME ON! Casually listening to Art like that? I would have loved to have been able to listen to his music live. Jazzzzzzzz.......

I love both of these tracks from the movie. :)



Ray Charles - Mess Around





Ray Charles - I Got A Woman





This music makes me want to get up and dance. :D

Loveeeee

Cathrine

The Rain Song

It was raining this morning and I found this song fitted perfectly with the weather. Led Zeppelin love.



Led Zeppelin - The Rain Song





Love,

Cathrine